Excerpt from “Register for Silence: Variant Modalities” (2021)
Modal Voice
“The water’s surface shimmered in the late afternoon sun. Like glinting glass. Sweat forms under my armpits. I feel the ardency of the warm Bengal sun a few hours after midday on my face. Standing at the pond’s edge, right in front of the house where I was born, I finger the handful of objects I’ve gathered for this afternoon’s exertions. One is a flat, almost smooth, the size of my pre-adolescent hand, a portion of a brick from the bricklayers’ kiln near the main road. Another is the plastic chassis of one of my toy cars, scrupulously dismantled so I could fling it along the limpid surface of the water, making it skip ... once, twice... three times and... perhaps, a golden fourth.
The afternoons sparkle in my recollection. Time stretched endlessly. Will I ever grow up and be on my own? When? In the meantime, I faultlessly serve at center court at Wimbledon and smack the return against the wall at the side of my house. Dribble unimpaired between a phalanx of ghostly defenders, shepherding the soccer ball for Mohun Bagan. My memories are filled with participation and purpose. The future gleamed and winked, twinkling as the sun and a slight breeze ruffled the water’s surface.”
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Excerpt from “Divining the Past” (2024)
“Another time, during the day, the carburetor started
leaking profusely about 40 to 50 miles out of Hazaribagh.
Cork gaskets were needed, and we had none. I have to say,
my dad impressed me no end that day—he said we’d take
all the soap we could scrounge out of our luggage, melt
it slightly, and cake the carburetor’s casing. Then he’d
drive as fast as he could till the engine started stuttering
and then we’d stop and repeat the soap-caking maneuver.
I stuck my arm out of the backseat window, carefree,
unafraid, and unworried as my dad gunned the engine
and sped toward home and safety. I trusted him. There
was no doubt. That’s what adults did—they made do.
They melted soap and caked the carburetors where the
gaskets should’ve been.”